I've Done A Bad, Bad Thing
by embrace-the-deception
Summary: The morning after, Sebastian looks down at Blaine and realises that this is never really what he wanted after all. AU for The First Time. Seblaine. Putting it under T because I don't think it's quite M. ONESHOT.


**I'm not a fan of Seblaine, but this came to me earlier and I had to write it down :) **

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><p>When Sebastian awakes, he finds his face pressed into so-soft dark curls, his naked body against another, and it takes him a moment to recall through the pounding of his head what happened. But as he breathes in a familiar scent and hears the other mumble in his sleep, he remembers all the events that led up to this moment – and for a second, he can't help but feel disgusted.<p>

_I see him storming away from the club and his boyfriend, furious. Really, it's my perfect chance. When am I ever going to have this opportunity again? He's angry, he's drunk, he's horny. I heard the argument. So what's stopping me?_

_Nothing._

"_Need a lift?"_

_He looks at me in almost surprise and he starts to yell at me, about to tell me to leave him alone. But then he stops and looks back to where his boyfriend is far away, not noticing me about to pick up his partner and steal him away._

_"Yeah, I do."_

Sebastian sits up and casts his gaze over the boy beside him. He looks as beautiful as when he walked into the Warbler's Hall and Sebastian first saw him – but more so, considering his clothes are on the floor and the blanket is pulled up only to his hips, baring his torso to the shadows and the light. Beautiful. Eyes closed, curls loose and spread across the pillow, one hand splayed across his stomach. Sebastian lightly runs his fingers down Blaine's arm, watches him shift slightly, and wonders why he thought this was such a good idea.

"_You can just drop me off here."_

_I look at Blaine as he moves to get out. He has a little trouble with his seatbelt so I lean over to help – and he doesn't seem to mind the fact I'm right over him, hand on his hip, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt as I take longer than necessary to undo the seatbelt, mouth near his. So in the end I just go for –I'm pretty sure I'm not going to encounter any resistance from him. I'm right. He's so drunk and horny he doesn't even seem to care that it's not Kurt kissing him._

_I have to break away in order to get out of the car, but I hope I've got him interested enough not to back out now. And again I'm right. Blaine's there by the time I have my door shut, kissing me, hands tugging at my waist._

_I'm not about to say no to that, am I?_

He feels disgusted. Mostly with himself. Closing his eyes, Sebastian runs a hand through his hair and bites back a groan. All the reasons he shouldn't have done what he did revolve in his mind, repeating and ingraining themselves deep so he never forgets what an ass he's been.

Blaine was drunk.

Blaine was vulnerable.

Blaine was angry.

Blaine might have been a virgin.

Blaine is in love with Kurt.

Blaine is going to hate himself.

Blaine and Kurt will probably split.

Blaine's heart will be broken.

And as he thinks, Sebastian begins to realise that sleeping with Blaine was never really what he wanted. And he'd just ruined a perfectly decent relationship and broken hearts over something he'd never even wanted in the first place.

_Slamming the bedroom door behind me, I can only hope Blaine's parents aren't home. But I suppose I'm not really bothered by it – besides, Blaine's too busy trying to tear my clothes off. Tongue in his mouth, I return the favour, only disconnecting to pull something over his head. Finally he's on his back on the bed and I'm over him, hand down his boxers and drawing the hottest, deepest sounds that I can from his mouth._

Sebastian blinks and looks back down at Blaine again. He's still sleeping peacefully, as if nothing had happened that previous night. He wonders if Blaine will remember what they did. If he does, he'll be devastated – Sebastian knows it's the truth, and it's all his fault.

He never wanted this. He never wanted to take advantage of someone, _especially_ Blaine. He never wanted guilt to sicken him and make him feel like the most awful person on Earth. He didn't want one night stands, having to disappear in the morning, sneaking around so he wouldn't get caught – like it was wrong. He didn't just want sex, no matter how hot or passionate or kinky it was.

_He sounds like a goddamn porn star, throwing his head back and letting that noise out that I can feel all the way inside me. And fuck, he feels so _good_, tilting his hips up and pushing back – I don't believe that he hasn't done this before. There's no way he's not experienced. His fingernails rake up my back and all I can do is give in to his demands, just go harder and faster because he's practically _begging _for it._

The brunette sighs and slips out of the bed, pulling his clothes on as quickly and as quietly as he can. As he opens the door, he looks back one last time at Blaine and feels a pang of regret and guilt stab at his heart. Again and again. He never should have done this.

He heads outside almost on autopilot and is driving away towards Westerville – and the quiet safety of Dalton – before he even knows what he's doing. He's half an hour into his trip, halfway there, before his phone rings from the passenger seat and he jumps. Glancing guiltily at it, he can see the ID displayed on the screen and he knows he owes it to Blaine to pick up.

He pulls over so he can talk to Blaine properly, and picks up the call.

"_What the hell happened last night?_" he sounds distraught, like he's been crying. And angry. There's no doubt of the fury behind his tone. Sebastian takes a breath before asking softly, "What's the last thing you remember?"

He guesses his tone surprises Blaine, because it takes a moment for him to reply. When he does, he's stumbling over his words like he's not sure what he's saying is true.

"_I-I remember… I was mad with K-Kurt… oh God, Kurt… and y-you offered me a lift… what happened, Sebastian?_"

Is it luck that has Blaine's memory stuck on that particular time? Or is it something else? Maybe the whole experience was so traumatic that he's blocked it out. Sebastian answers quietly, hoping he could make this all go away. "You were drunk. I took you home. Nothing happened."

"_Nothing happened?_"

"No."

"_Then w-why am I naked and hur… hurting all over?_"

Sebastian pauses, frantically trying to think of excuses that would explain the awkward situation Blaine had woken up in. It only takes him a moment and he calms, saying, "Like I said, you were drunk. I tried to get you into the house and you kept pulling all your clothes off. To be honest, it was a little awkward."

"_A-And…?_" It's clearly a question.

"You were horny. Kept asking me to stay. But I got you to your room and left you to your own devices. I don't know what you might have got up to on your own."

He says it in such a careful, meaningful way that Blaine is silent for a moment, thinking that over. Sebastian hopes he won't think about it too much, because thinking means holes and holes mean a lie and if Blaine didn't remember, then Sebastian didn't want to tell him the truth.

"_Oh_."

"Yeah. Nothing happened."

"_You swear?_"

"Cross my heart. Look, I have to go. And don't worry, I won't tell Kurt anything."

Hanging up, Sebastian stares at the phone in his hands and wishes that this would all just disappear. Wishes he could forget too. But no amount of alcohol will ever make him forget what he's done. He wonders if Blaine believes him. He assumes he does, since he didn't question any more, but he knows there will be some lingering doubt, some confusion and uncertainty about the events of last night. He'll always be curious.

But Sebastian will never tell him the truth.

That he had sex with him. That he hates himself for what he did. That he hopes Kurt never finds out what really happened. That he never really wanted to sleep with Blaine after all. That what he really wanted was _Blaine_. He wanted what Blaine had. He wanted someone to smile at and hug and kiss and go out on dates with. Someone to hold him and keep him close through lonely nights. Someone to wake up next to and not feel guilty about. And he wanted Blaine for that.

But Blaine isn't his to take. He knows that now.

So for the moment, he'll be content with being alone.

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><p><strong>Please review :)<strong>


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